A Short Guide to Getting Lost   Martyn Blundell 2007

1 go for the first time to a large foreign city in a country where you cannot speak the language

2 get a taxi to a hotel with a name beginning with 'S'

3 ask directions to the city centre

4 leave the hotel in the opposite direction

5 when you get to the first road juction, go left

6 at the next go right, and continue this sequence for 15 minutes

7 after 15 minutes, continue this system until you reach a bar

8 go in and drink half a bottle of whiskey or vodka

9 when it's dark leave the bar and walk in any direction

10 the first large man you pass in the street, hit as hard as you can in the face